It has almost been 5 years to the day since I last blogged. So many amazing things have happened in these last 5 years:
- I went to the dentist this month for the first time in 7 years, I had no cavities.
- I also slightly changed the look of the blog
- Those are about the only substantial highlights
If my amazing memory serves me right, I had promised to start blogging again at that time every once in awhile (I promise I didn't just read that old blog...)
Anyways, I would say that 5 years constitutes as every once in a while. That is a cheeky comment.
I am currently not in shape at all. I am not rectangular, or even round. Some might call me pear shaped, but that is not a geological shape. Yeah, I said geological, because my goal is to be shaped like "The Rock." (That's not actually my goal, but it sounded funny in my head, although I wouldn't be disappointed)
I attempt to play hockey once a week in the winter, and that is about as much fitness as I have been doing. That is until my brother and I had an idea to run a Spartan race. Spartan Calgary 2017
Don't worry, I am not running it next week. The plan is to run it next year, in 2018. I got the idea from some other friends, who might run it with us as well, as well as my other brothers (they don't necessarily know this yet).
Anyways, we started training last week. I know what you are thinking, "training for a Spartan race, that must be H to the core!" It felt hardcore to my body, but we started with no weights, doing lunges, squats, calf-ups (you know, when you lift up calves that have been tipped over), and jumping. We also did a fat mans version of a P90x ab workout, well I did the fat mans version anyways.
I was so sore for 2 or 3 days afterwards, it was hard to roll over at night time, it was hard to walk down the stairs to DQ...
Anyways, we did some arms and shoulders the next day with light weights. My brother did some push-ups and I did some trampoline-ups (no explanation necessary). I could do some push-ups but not properly, I was causing earthquakes or something like that. We did some biceps, triceps and if I was a drinking man we would have done some rye-ceps (that is a terrible rhyming joke). My biceps were so sore for the next few days as well, that 20 pound weight was just too much... It would have been more funny if I didn't use any weight at all.
This brings me to Wednesday last week. I went for a jog. It was 3.5 km with some hills but no thrills, which sounds like No Frills where they have truly great prices on grocery items. I hear the Lethbridge Westside one is divine.
Since this was my first real jog in a long time, it was all about finishing. I didn't walk at all, and I made sure I finished right to the end. A 3.5 km total jog, it took me 26:55. It had been so long, that I really didn't have any idea what that meant. I just accepted that I finished, I deserved a participation medal or at least some type of treat. I also keep writing job instead of job, I did it again, instead of job, darn it. Instead of jog. Now, I am righting righting instead of righting, for the love of... Writing.
I worked out on Thursday and Friday, regurgitating from memory my previous workouts. I was surprised at how much easier they were this time. But in all honesty, regurgitated food is always easier to choke down.
Thus brought on Saturday. I would jog again. My plan was to do the exact same route, to once again use my Samsung health app to track my time. I was going to do it bright and early, but thenwisdom laziness deferred my jog until it was just bright and hot.
I set off, which sounds like this could be taken out of context, I really should set off more often. I did the exact same route as before, my goal was to be faster, but I didn't know what that would look like. I felt really good at the start, really fast, somewhat like Usain Bolt. That was until I got passed by that show off 80 year old on the walker... I also realized that running slightly down hill to start sets you up for some inflated expectations which will crush your dreams. I wasn't actually going to qualify for the Olympics on this run.
After grueling through the no thrill hills, the last 0.4 km of my run were slightly down hill, sadly I didn't increase my pace by much after the hills. And then, it happened. I ran the 3.48 km (I must have literally cut a corner or something) in 22:57. I shaved off 4 minutes from Wednesday. I felt like Danny Glover and Tony Danza in "Angels in the Outfield", running around waving my arms, or is it flapping my wings.
I was feeling pretty stoked, this was a great improvement. This was more than baby steps, I was officially as fast as an Olympian. I could beat anyone. And then I had to lay down so I wouldn't die.
The next day, I was still feeling pretty good about myself. I made the mistake of "bragging" to a friend to the end (in case you are have trouble spelling friend, always remember "friend to the end." I learned that from Mr. Megale at Canyon Lister Elementary School. Also remember that you probably shouldn't have multiple periods in between the bottoms of frowny/smiley faces. They lose their effectiveness.)
My friend informed me that he ran the same 3.5 km loop, only backwards, in 14 minutes. I am not sure why more Olympians don't run backwards if it increases your speed so much. Imagine how fast Andre Degrasse could be, he maybe could have beat Usain Bolt at the 2016 Olympics.
He then explained that he ran the loop the other direction (not backwards), with more steepness (which is a great word by the way and obviously grammatically correct, it is plural for steep, much like princess is plural for prince, please bow before your steepness).
I might have a little more training to go...
See you in 5 years :)
Anyways, I would say that 5 years constitutes as every once in a while. That is a cheeky comment.
I am currently not in shape at all. I am not rectangular, or even round. Some might call me pear shaped, but that is not a geological shape. Yeah, I said geological, because my goal is to be shaped like "The Rock." (That's not actually my goal, but it sounded funny in my head, although I wouldn't be disappointed)
I attempt to play hockey once a week in the winter, and that is about as much fitness as I have been doing. That is until my brother and I had an idea to run a Spartan race. Spartan Calgary 2017
Don't worry, I am not running it next week. The plan is to run it next year, in 2018. I got the idea from some other friends, who might run it with us as well, as well as my other brothers (they don't necessarily know this yet).
Anyways, we started training last week. I know what you are thinking, "training for a Spartan race, that must be H to the core!" It felt hardcore to my body, but we started with no weights, doing lunges, squats, calf-ups (you know, when you lift up calves that have been tipped over), and jumping. We also did a fat mans version of a P90x ab workout, well I did the fat mans version anyways.
I was so sore for 2 or 3 days afterwards, it was hard to roll over at night time, it was hard to walk down the stairs to DQ...
Anyways, we did some arms and shoulders the next day with light weights. My brother did some push-ups and I did some trampoline-ups (no explanation necessary). I could do some push-ups but not properly, I was causing earthquakes or something like that. We did some biceps, triceps and if I was a drinking man we would have done some rye-ceps (that is a terrible rhyming joke). My biceps were so sore for the next few days as well, that 20 pound weight was just too much... It would have been more funny if I didn't use any weight at all.
This brings me to Wednesday last week. I went for a jog. It was 3.5 km with some hills but no thrills, which sounds like No Frills where they have truly great prices on grocery items. I hear the Lethbridge Westside one is divine.
Since this was my first real jog in a long time, it was all about finishing. I didn't walk at all, and I made sure I finished right to the end. A 3.5 km total jog, it took me 26:55. It had been so long, that I really didn't have any idea what that meant. I just accepted that I finished, I deserved a participation medal or at least some type of treat. I also keep writing job instead of job, I did it again, instead of job, darn it. Instead of jog. Now, I am righting righting instead of righting, for the love of... Writing.
I worked out on Thursday and Friday, regurgitating from memory my previous workouts. I was surprised at how much easier they were this time. But in all honesty, regurgitated food is always easier to choke down.
Thus brought on Saturday. I would jog again. My plan was to do the exact same route, to once again use my Samsung health app to track my time. I was going to do it bright and early, but then
I set off, which sounds like this could be taken out of context, I really should set off more often. I did the exact same route as before, my goal was to be faster, but I didn't know what that would look like. I felt really good at the start, really fast, somewhat like Usain Bolt. That was until I got passed by that show off 80 year old on the walker... I also realized that running slightly down hill to start sets you up for some inflated expectations which will crush your dreams. I wasn't actually going to qualify for the Olympics on this run.
After grueling through the no thrill hills, the last 0.4 km of my run were slightly down hill, sadly I didn't increase my pace by much after the hills. And then, it happened. I ran the 3.48 km (I must have literally cut a corner or something) in 22:57. I shaved off 4 minutes from Wednesday. I felt like Danny Glover and Tony Danza in "Angels in the Outfield", running around waving my arms, or is it flapping my wings.
I was feeling pretty stoked, this was a great improvement. This was more than baby steps, I was officially as fast as an Olympian. I could beat anyone. And then I had to lay down so I wouldn't die.
The next day, I was still feeling pretty good about myself. I made the mistake of "bragging" to a friend to the end (in case you are have trouble spelling friend, always remember "friend to the end." I learned that from Mr. Megale at Canyon Lister Elementary School. Also remember that you probably shouldn't have multiple periods in between the bottoms of frowny/smiley faces. They lose their effectiveness.)
My friend informed me that he ran the same 3.5 km loop, only backwards, in 14 minutes. I am not sure why more Olympians don't run backwards if it increases your speed so much. Imagine how fast Andre Degrasse could be, he maybe could have beat Usain Bolt at the 2016 Olympics.
He then explained that he ran the loop the other direction (not backwards), with more steepness (which is a great word by the way and obviously grammatically correct, it is plural for steep, much like princess is plural for prince, please bow before your steepness).
I might have a little more training to go...
See you in 5 years :)
