June 9, 2011

On Tuesday morning I headed out alone.  I walk alone, I walk alone.  I met up with Peter and we headed off to see if Vern would be waiting for us.  Vern is Sea Bass, aka Santa Claus, aka whatever stupid clever name I come up with.  Peter seems to be leaving a little earlier than I am in the morning, as he is meeting up with me on my side of the mountain.  No the bear did not go over the mountain.   We met up with Vern and we did our beautiful run along some street that I don't know the name of.  It was a decent run and we added a little more to it by running in a trailer court that overlooks the flats.  That is how you know you are in a classy neighbourhood, the view.  Towards the end of the run we ran up a fairly steep hill.  This is hard for Peter and I as we don't really want to go too hard at the end.  Vern makes us look like fools pushes us to be better, which is good.  I think.  At the top of the hill, this being hillside street.  Isn't that the most original name for a street on the side of a hill.  I don't know why my street name isn't "bottom of the hill street", or " over the hill street."  They have an old folks home on my street, so it would work.   Anyways back to reality, whoop there goes gravity.  On hillside street, the road had these huge pot holes, that reminded me of the Grand Canyon, at least they would have, if I had ever been there. 

On Wednesday morning it was raining, but I'm not complaining, cause I love the rain.  No this is not a car commercial.  But I would happily accept advertising money or something like that.  I headed off to meet up with my main man Master P the rapper.  Some call him Parapa the Rappa, but I call him Master P.  When I met up with him he dropped the beat................Yo.

Hey my good friend,
Lets run to the end,
We'll go pick up Vern
Then go plant a fern

This is when I interrupted the Master.  " Why would we go plant a fern?" 
Parapa continued:

I am the master of rap
You are the master of crap
I'm going to run you out of town
Cause you're putting my rappin down
You're gonna start to yearn
For the chance to go plant a fern

It was at this point that Peter started break dancing.  When he was done I showed him up with my mad nunchuk skills.  We ran to meet Vern, he wasn't quite at our secondary meeting place so we started to run to meet him.  There he was coming up Mount Everest.  We headed off on our run towards Centennial park, which consequently no one has ever heard of any parks with that name.  It is probably the only Centennial park in the world.  It's just another reason " I love Creston."  No the paper didn't pay me to drop their name.  We did our usual 4 or 5 km run.  Which really means that I ran 4 km, but 4 to 5 km sounds so much more productive.  It is one of my running tips, always round up.  Towards the end Vern just kept going, while Peter and I slowed considerably and walked the last part.  Peter and I both agree the last 5 minutes of the run suck.  Because Vern is Santa Claus he doesn't become tired.

On Thursday morning I didn't want to get up.  You know one of those mornings when you don't sleep well.  I didn't want to move at all.  I got up anyways because I had to meet up with the flock and head south.  I went out and met up with Peter, than with Vern.  They both said that if they didn't have someone to meet up with that they wouldn't have come.  We thanked each other for that, while secretly muttering something unintelligible under our breath.  We went around Centennial park and then up Erickson road.  We then turned in towards town and parted ways at the RCMP station.  Vern headed off like Pavel Bure on a breakaway, while Peter and I headed off like.......well we didn't really head off, we just sort of started walking.  We walked down main street.  Because we are so well renowned around the world, it was like a parade.  We handed out candy and went around asking for money dressed up as cavemen.  I walked Peter home to make sure he was safe and sound, as it was pretty rowdy at our parade with all the autograph seekers.

When I got home I got "naked as a jaybird" to weigh myself.  Who ever can figure out the reference by writing the correct answer in the comments section, gets a free life subscription to my blog.  Ya, it is that pathetic awesome.  Anyways, I weighed in at a whopping 224 pounds.  Which consequently is 7 pounds lighter than when I started out running.  That is pretty awesome, mind you I still have jiggle.  Getting jiggle with it.  I don't look much different, but it is a start and I will survive, I will survive, something something about how to stay alive. 

Captain Awkward statement:  "You're beautiful like............a tree, like some ceramics."